Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
