The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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