i permit you to call me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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