I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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