why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
