Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
