maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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