She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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