so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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