then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
