were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize