It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
