Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
