Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
