I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
