It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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