You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
