Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
