you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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