you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am one with the molecules
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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