Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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