She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
