this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
