dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
