foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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