we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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