i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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