Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
