There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
