my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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