i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
