u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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