I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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