K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
