Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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