Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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