LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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