Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
