it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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