I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
