Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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