I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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