I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
