I have demons in me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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