he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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