It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize