He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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