I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
