i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize