Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
