She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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