but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
