Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
