Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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