i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
