just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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