Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
3 2 1 whiskey
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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