This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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