i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
