It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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