He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
