And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
