There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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