I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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