They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you would pick up someone in the library
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
