I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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