But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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